Tips on Gittin Sum 102: Basic Pointers for Engaging Chicks
For the sake of all, boys... basic pointers when it comes to women:
1. You do NOT tell the chick you are dating to lie to her mother when you did something that you wouldn't want her mother to know about. If you did something you don't want her mother to know about, DON'T FUCKING DO IT. If you DO, have the fucking decency to own up to your fuckup and make up for it accordingly, like the worthy gentleman you could be. And please, DO be ashamed of yourself - it lets us know you are actually learning something.
2. You do NOT take a fucking SHIT in the girl's apartment without first saying hello to her, how are you, etc, and politely asking permission. Yes, I know people have needs. Including being treated with respect in one's own home. Greet first, shit later. Simple, right? You'd think. But the obvious has escaped many. Guys, don't get dumped for taking a dump, OK?
Yes, this really happened to me. All my friends know him as "Shit Guy." Ever since I posted this on my dating profile, I have had at least 3 other boytoys develop psychological problems trying to use my bathroom.
3. If your date tells you she did not like something you did, the correct answer is NOT "I didn't do anything!" If you are alive, talking to her, and have interacted, yes, you actually have done something. Pretending you didn't exist in a moment of conflict is get-the-fuck-out-worthy, chickenshit (read about gaslighting). The correct answer is NOT "This isn't my problem!" Unless you mean "Trying to get in your pants isn't my problem!" The correct answer is NOT "You are projecting your issues with your exes on me!" Unless you want to be the next ex I have issues with.
No, no, noooo.... The correct answer IS "I'm sorry I did XYZ, I didn't mean to create this conflict between us. It is more important for me to figure out what happened than it is for me to be right." I don't care if what upset her was that you wore the wrong color pink shirt, or you burped in front of her folks, or you called her by your ex's name. Unlike you peckers, we women don't find it better to be right. We can be wrong as much as anyone. But our self-esteem is not wrapped up in the need to be dominant, and we don't want victory as much as we want a partnership. We would rather open our legs to someone with an open mind and open heart. No matter how ridiculous or petty it may seem to you, YOU NEED TO TAKE US SERIOUSLY. If you don't, you invalidate our feelings, you make us LESS THAN YOU. If our feelings are LESS important than your need to be right, you can jolly well go fuck yourself, coz no one else is going to do it for you.
Personal disclaimer:
I have a ZERO tolerance policy for anyone who invalidates my feelings and/or takes no responsibility during conflict. That first offense IS the LAST. You are not treating me like an equal, which stems from a deep foundation of disrespect that was there long before me, and I have no interest in dealing with (anymore). "Sorry" after the fact DOESN'T CUT IT. "Sorry" is just the bullshit band aid to repeat offenses. I do NOT buy "sorry" without actions to back it up.
FYI: Just because I forgive you once, does not mean I will do it again. I learn from my mistakes, especially when others don't.
Invalidation is up there with gaslighting and narcissistic personality disorder (psychologically abusive behavior displayed by ALL sociopaths and psychopaths). If you are unfamiliar, please read this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And if you didn't have the time or interest to read any of the aforementioned, that pretty much tells us you fall into any/all those categories.
