

Drive Safely!
I've been known to drive enthusiastically and park vigorously. To my credit, I'm Puerto Rican and we are not a subtle folk. People say my...


Apology to Gay Marriage Haters
We are terribly sorry the Supreme Court gay marriage ruling has rained on your straight parade. We pity that you are powerless to stop...


Tips on Gittin Sum 103: Nope Nope Nope
Pointers on how to show her you are a Desperate Douchebag: 1. Send shallow, punctuation-free messages where your first impression to...


Tips on Gittin Sum 102: Basic Pointers for Engaging Chicks
For the sake of all, boys... basic pointers when it comes to women: 1. You do NOT tell the chick you are dating to lie to her mother when...


Tips on Gittin Sum 101: Messaging Chicks
Let me preface this by readily admitting that I am not a dating professional - you couldn't pay me enough! Well, I may be open to the...


Duck, Duck, Duck.... Goose! (or Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.... Oops!)
Once upon a time in my early 30s, my body was invisibly snatched by raging female hormones on a baby mission. It was eerily parallel to...


Letter on Behalf of Paulie Heenan's Family
US Attorney John W. Vaudreuil United States Attorney's Office Western District of Wisconsin 660 West Washington Avenue, Suite 303...


Shit Guy
This is a letter from an alcoholic ex after I dumped him (we dated maybe 2 months). For reference, this is his apology for when he showed...